Ambitious Perfectionist

One cannot expect to pen down a masterpiece when one has barely started scribbling down ones thoughts. Yet I try to carefully choose words, construct sentences and streamline thoughts to create that instant best seller…Its ridiculous to expect a 2 year old to run a marathon...the 2 year old can definitely run, but to start with a marathon, it might have to give up long before half way. The patience to moil through my days as a toddler in the world of words is what I do not have. I have to acquire it, because without patience I’m going nowhere.

As a child I dreamed that I was the “punarjanma” of a princess, the last heir to the throne of some unknown kingdom. Was I being too silly? (I still haven’t ruled out the possibility)

I dreamed of becoming the 1^st woman president of India. I still can’t forgive Pratibha Patil for robbing me of my dream. Its jockey or nothing…so I gave up that dream coz I’m not ready to settle for 2^nd.

I dreamed of going on missions to negotiate with terrorists to save the nation. I am a big time patriot. Honestly, who would do such a thing these days if they are not promised to be awarded the “Param Veer Chakra” (definitely not posthumously)?

I dreamed of writing a novel before I finished my class 12. Was I being too ambitious? Dint Ruskin Bond dream and achieve the same? Would anyone dare call him ambitious in a negative sense? I guess no.

Well then what is it that distinguishes his ambition from mine….In retrospect I realized that my ambition should have been made of sterner stuff…sterner stuff as in it should have been backed by determination…hmmm.

I dream big. I guess I took the words of those personality trainers a little too seriously, who ask people to aim for the stars to land on the moon. Here I am aiming for the stars all the way and have not even managed to be on the roof top. I have too many dreams and too weak a will to make my dreams come true.

Alas I can hardly relate the title to the content of the post. Not exactly what I wished to write. But its okay, I need to learn to accept the imperfections and incongruities of life.